Career Coaching: Overachieving, Workplace Boundaries, and Mindset Shifts with Shaperyla Smith

0:00foreign0:07[Music]0:18welcome to the your next Move podcast0:20y'all we are doing something different0:23today and I am wildly excited I have0:26been a career coach0:28sends0:292011 helping women and people of color0:32navigate the world of work make more0:34money and position themselves as Leaders0:36I've spent thousands of hours doing0:39career coaching and I want you all to0:42see me in action and I want to give0:45professionals like you the opportunity0:46to get career coaching so today we are0:50going to do some Live Career coaching on0:53camera and this is unplanned I have an0:55idea kind of what we're talking about0:57but just like with any career coaching0:59situation what comes up is going to come1:01up and I hope that you find something in1:04this episode that is going to help you1:06navigate the world of work with Eve so1:08with that I would ask you to introduce1:10yourself tell us a little bit about1:11yourself okay1:12hi my name well not hi my name is1:15chapalia Smith I'm affectionately known1:18as Pearl I'm from Jacksonville Florida I1:21currently live in Houston Texas uh my1:25project manager in the healthcare1:26industry I've been doing that for about1:28two years now1:31um so I'm so grateful to be on your show1:34I am a big fan of yours thank you so I1:37am really happy to be here I'm excited1:39so how long have you been in healthcare1:40so I've been in healthcare since1:442012. so this year was my 10 years in1:47healthcare1:48um I transitioned from like the patient1:51access registration area and then I1:53worked my way up to project management1:55okay so tell me about what's going on1:57right now in your career so right now2:00I'm at I feel like I'm at a pivotal2:02point where I'm trying to balance my2:04personal life with also my work life and2:07I'm trying to be more assertive with my2:09boundaries at work and navigating that2:12space ways to not come off as2:14too assertive but also stay in control2:17as a project manager you know you have2:20to lead your team so I want to be able2:23to exert affert my boundaries as well as2:28pivot even more in my career so I'm here2:31to see what's your advice2:34about how can I respect my boundaries in2:39the workplace and also pivot so tell me2:41a little bit more how large is your team2:43so my team right now is a hundred2:47um individuals I'm the project manager2:49for that department that's a lot of2:51folks yeah yeah that's a lot of people2:53okay2:54um and where do you feel like your2:55boundaries are being impacted like where2:56is it that you are feeling the most2:58distress3:00um so I feel like it's more with the3:02leadership team so it's five of us okay3:06um I'm I anticipate people needs very3:10well and I get attached to those that3:13are in higher authority because I just3:15want to make sure that they know that I3:18understand them that I have their back3:20I'm very loyal to default sometimes3:23right okay so I really want to know3:27like how do I navigate that without3:29crossing the line so you could tell me3:31if I'm wrong but what I hear you saying3:33is that you in the workplace because3:35you're a high achiever yeah and because3:37you see the leadership team and you can3:39see what their needs are you are3:41proactively solving problems proactively3:43doing all things and I'm assuming is3:46that becoming overwhelming like yeah3:48because you're working long hours like3:50what's going on yeah so I work long3:52hours from anticipating these going3:55higher than I'm even my role is supposed3:58to right I'm just trying to make sure4:01they're good but it's a business so they4:04only care if you're showing up doing4:06your job they're not really care about4:09the well-being so yeah are you clear on4:12what your trajectory is like do you feel4:13like the work you're doing now is4:15setting you up for your next move4:17so I think it it has set me up this far4:21but I'm ready to grow I can feel myself4:25itching towards like okay it's time for4:27the next step got it got it okay so have4:30you had a conversation about getting4:32help getting support4:34yes what has happened there uh so I'm4:37very vocal about my needs now since4:39reading a book good good4:43so I had that conversation4:46um4:47but it wasn't uh received in a way that4:49we wanted to and4:52um I was disappointed by that so what4:55happened what was the result4:57um it was more like okay so you want to5:00move up so now let me just throw this on5:03you let me throw these tasks on you I5:05know you can do that so let me just give5:07you more on your plate and it became to5:10I'm doing way more in my job now than5:14I'm supposed to and I feel like I'm just5:15doing busy work ex um5:18sorry um I feel like I'm doing more busy5:21work than I am doing my actual job now5:24so it sounds like when you went and said5:26like hey like I want a higher title I5:29want more responsibility did they give5:31you more money at least5:32yes okay okay I know that getting more5:35money getting more money does not make5:36it better it does not but it makes it a5:38little better yeah it's just a little5:41bit it doesn't always make it better but5:43it's even worse because sometimes I've5:44had situations where clients are they're5:47looking to get to the next place and5:48their boss like oh I really need to see5:50you show some more initiatives yeah so5:51they make them do more without more pay5:54so they gave you more pay but it sounds5:55like now like there's too much work have5:57you when in that conversation did you5:59ever talk about getting more team to6:01directly support you because if you're6:02project managing for 100 folks do you6:04have direct reports who are helping you6:06do that project management work so6:09that's the part I I left out so the the6:12team that I'm um the project manager for6:14I was their supervisor before I became6:17their project manager so they're used to6:20just reporting straight to me did they6:23backfill your old role they did uh six6:26months into my role okay yeah are you6:29properly re-navigating people back to6:32your backfill instead of helping them6:35in the last month I've been6:38so that's a no I feel like it's a no you6:41know again I'm very like loving loyal so6:46but yes no I have not okay so you're6:49letting that person have an easy job6:51yeah yeah okay so I think number one6:54with boundaries it's like figuring out6:57where is the pain point so one pain7:00point you talked about today is you had7:02a hundred people who you were with7:04before yeah and those hundred people are7:07still coming to you even though there's7:09someone in the middle yeah7:11do you feel like this person in the7:12middle is trained properly7:14so I think7:16um when I realized that like hey this is7:18getting too much for me like I've I took7:21time on my schedule to make sure like7:24okay this is what you need more help in7:26so they're getting better7:29um and they actually hire another person7:31to help that person7:33after I'm about to roll let's just put7:35that out there hold on7:37yeah okay okay7:40so um so it's getting better and they're7:43now able to rise to the occasion more7:45but still when you have those people7:47that are used to your way yes they they7:50keep coming7:53that I have to redirect yeah so I see7:55your coaching yourself I love it I love7:57it because so many times when we talk7:59about boundaries it's we know we know8:03what to do because we know it doesn't8:04feel good yeah what doesn't feel good is8:06you doing these two jobs at the same8:07time because you're letting these folks8:09still come around to you so it's kind of8:11pushing back now do you feel if these8:14folks were not still coming to you do8:16you feel like you'd have more bandwidth8:18you'd feel a little bit better or is8:19there still pressure coming from your8:20leadership too8:22still pressure coming from my leadership8:24too because they know that I can do the8:27job and that I'm gonna do everything I8:29can to make them happy so8:33here was they were my direct report8:35before so now we're on the same level so8:39it's still like8:40I still see you as that little person8:42but just more responsibilities and I8:44know you can handle it and so I'm gonna8:47just keep adding to your plate so am I8:49correct in thinking that like so let me8:52get your hierarchy correct so you were8:54in role a8:57listen let me do it yet now I'm gonna do8:58it that way so you were in roll a and9:01you got moved to the next position of B9:04Which is higher so now you and all your9:06leadership team are on the same yeah the9:08same area9:10are they still treating you like you're9:11in rule a9:15yes9:17and so they're not going to your9:19backfill9:22on both sides okay9:25we need to re-navigate on both sides9:27yeah yeah and I think even in your9:30language9:32so I had to ask for clarification9:33because that was the first time that you9:36said now you're on the same level as the9:38leadership team yeah and I think that's9:40also a mindset shift of you9:43you are the leadership team yeah they're9:47no longer above you and I think that's a9:49very difficult transition I think for9:51everyone involved but I think9:54a your mindset has to believe now that9:56you you're no longer9:58the person who they're coming down on10:00pushing back down on and the same way10:03you're re-navigating the hundred we need10:06to re-navigate your peers we're not10:08calling them leadership team anymore10:09yeah re-navigate your peers10:12to that other person to reroute the work10:15because you're gonna feel pressure on10:17both sides do you feel like what does10:20that how does that feel for you how does10:21that land when you think about like you10:23being on the leadership team and not10:25being10:27someone who's reporting to that team10:28anymore10:30um if conflicting feelings right because10:32sometimes I'm like okay should I had10:34took this role in the same Department10:36that I was at role a right I should like10:39should I had went to another department10:40where the team doesn't know me and so10:43they have like more respect10:45and then it's more like okay so I'm10:48proud of myself because I'm at your left10:51the same level as you and so yeah it's10:55conflicting feelings10:57is definitely really hard when you move11:00from different levels within some within11:02an organization especially in the same11:04like immediate chain of command11:07but I also just want to give you your11:09Kudos and that like that's what that's11:11what everybody wants right like11:13everybody wants to get promoted in their11:15area and just keep Rising do you like11:18your job yeah I like it11:20I like what it's supposed to be I'm like11:22I was like I like it I just I feel like11:25I'm I'm ready for growth and I'm a fast11:28grower so in the eyes of my peers they11:32think oh you're still new in this role11:34but I know I can do more so I'm ready to11:37grow11:38how long have you been one of the peers11:40now11:42um11:43almost two years almost two years yeah11:46and six months ago they hired her no11:48sorry I've been with this company for11:50two years almost one year now so almost11:52one year now and when did they hire11:54backfield six months ago yeah11:57yeah okay11:59you just you need to re-navigate these12:02folks because you're not going to feel12:04the difference12:05until you re-navigate people to the12:08appropriate chain of command I think12:11that is why it sounds like your12:14boundaries being broken it's just about12:15you doing work that is not at the level12:17because when you become when you work12:20into a come into a leadership role the12:23goal is that you are working on higher12:24level strategy higher level thinking12:26more big picture things you're able to12:29think about vision and one year planning12:31three-year planning five-year planning12:33but if you're still doing the day-to-day12:34nuances12:36it's not going to feel like you had that12:38jump and you had that growth yeah and12:41it's been a year12:42and so we get the first six months of12:44transition12:45I I also understand the six months of12:47transition when you get someone enrolled12:49because they had to get upskilled yeah12:51yeah but now they're upskilled12:55and you need to let them do their job13:00is there any other boundary issue that13:02you feel that's outside of that is it13:04really just like the sandwich that's13:06happening or is there something else13:07that you feel like you need more13:08assistance with13:10I think it's13:12another intern General thing like I feel13:15like13:16I should not be giving more tasks when I13:20tell you that I'm ready to13:22transition to something else I shouldn't13:25be13:27told that13:29I don't think you're ready or I don't13:32think let's do this for a little bit you13:34just got into this role when I showed13:37like that I've gotten certifications13:39I've you know did the work that I was13:42supposed to do so now I you know the13:44term well of course you know quietly13:46quitting yeah we don't do that over here13:48I don't like that term yeah13:50but yes yes I think I'm at that point13:54now like you know I I don't fought with13:57with you know my the people that was14:00over before14:01um I helped y'all I'm I trained the14:04backfield I'm dealing with my peers14:07still seeing me as role a and now14:10they're you know giving more to me so14:13it's just like now I'm in my head I'm14:16like you know I just need a fresh start14:18because I need to reset myself in order14:22to truly set my boundaries reset my14:26boundaries because y'all are breaking me14:29a cute Beyonce break my soul14:33when that song came out I felt it14:35released a job I'm like you were ready14:37for it so can I give you some tough love14:39yeah okay14:42so the issue that you're having you're14:43going to have in the next place too yeah14:45yeah it's going to follow you because14:46quiet quitting the reason why I hate it14:49so much because14:50advocating for yourself from what I hear14:52you saying14:54you have to you don't see yourself as14:56being on your leadership team14:58if you don't see yourself being on your15:00leadership team how are they supposed to15:01see you on the leadership team yeah15:03and you have to position yourself and15:06align yourself believe that you're a15:08leader in here act like you're a leader15:10and showcase that in order to continue15:12to climb15:14the past year it sounds like you've been15:16you've been doing all the things so I'm15:18very I'm very happy that they at the15:20minimum rewarded you with some money15:21with with a new title like they've moved15:25you appropriately so in essence they did15:28like part one but part two is now what15:31do you do with that15:33and you need to step into doing the job15:36as part of the leadership team15:38and once you set those boundaries and15:40you're operating and that way people are15:42going to continue to come to you and15:43continue to treat you in the way that15:45you allow them to treat you you're15:46allowing your your peers I'm not calling15:48them leadership team no more unless I'm15:49talking about you being on it yeah15:50you're allowing your peers to treat you15:51like you're not on the team15:53and when you're managers because we15:55didn't even talk about the relationship15:56with your manager but when your manager15:58sees that you're doing all these other15:59things that's not how16:02a leader would need to operate in order16:04to move forward because if I play16:06Devil's Advocate which I hate even16:08saying but if I play Devil's Advocate as16:10your boss you don't have room for16:12another upward Mobility because you're16:15still doing you won't let go of all16:16these things one of the hardest parts of16:18moving up is delegating and if you're16:20unable to delegate how can I give you16:21more work16:23I can't let you do higher level things16:25because you you just keep on taking like16:27you just adding everything to the Box16:28you're like all right I can just keep on16:29we have to kind of cut it and make sure16:32that you are aligning and positioning16:34yourself in the way that you know you16:37need to be positioned16:38and I think that takes day to day for16:41you it sounds like it's so much mindset16:43of setting these boundaries because16:45quiet quitting isn't gonna help you16:48quiet quitting16:50I'm gonna say this and I I don't16:51apologize actually I don't16:53um quiet quitting is for people who16:54really don't care about their careers16:56[Music]16:58because if you want to quite quick go16:59ahead17:00quiet quitting with people who don't17:01really want a job yeah you quite quit on17:03me I told my team before like I wish you17:05would try and quiet quit quiet quit17:06sounds like you need to be loudly fired17:08because like if you're not trying to do17:10your job17:12so I have a question yes so what if the17:15person you were when you started that17:17role you've grown you're not you're no17:20longer that person anymore that is how17:23are you re-educating people on who you17:26are every time you make a move in your17:29career it's17:31low-key like allow me to reintroduce17:33myself yeah it is who am I what am I17:37working on what is my mission what is my17:39vision and every interaction you have is17:43an opportunity for you to realign17:45yourself to where you want to go one of17:47my mentors always told me like if you17:50want to excel you can't be having water17:51cooler conversations when you want to17:54get up high you can't be at the water17:56cooler with all your direct reports17:58chilling you can't be doing the same18:00work having the same conversations at18:02the water cooler when you want to be18:03seen a deleted with me I'm not at the18:04water cooler she's like I'm over here18:06I'm talking to the leaders I'm building18:08mentors and sponsors I'm not at the18:10water cooler gossiping and I think when18:13we think about it from like a literal18:14perspective of like18:16just hanging out in that area but also18:18think about your tasks think about it18:19like how are people experiencing you so18:21how can we it part of the onus is on you18:24to18:26align that way18:28which is mindset and in your day-to-day18:30boundaries18:32I like that okay you like that okay I18:35was like I'm gonna get a little harder18:36I'm like y'all I just met her today uh18:39about I don't know how many minutes ago18:41so I was like I gotta I can't like some18:43of my friends one of my girlfriends18:44she's heard me give queer coaching18:45before and her man heard me talking he's18:47like you like can't talk to you like18:55that you are not in a position at least18:57in my opinion from what I've known about18:59you in this maybe 30 minutes what I know19:02to be true so far you are in a fantastic19:05position because you've been rewarded19:07for the great work that you are doing19:08now that you've been rewarded what are19:10you going to do with it so you can19:11continue to move19:14I feel like you can do it19:16thank you it's kind of like your book19:18says like every conversation that you19:20have with somebody that affects your19:22your career that's a career conversation19:25like I did say that19:29like sometimes I forget yeah yes exactly19:34and I think it's you aligning and having19:35more of those conversations19:36[Music]19:38to align you so you can continue to move19:40forward and once you do that I really19:42think that you're the boundaries like19:44it's really just speaking up yeah19:47and not feeling bad about it and not19:50feeling bad about it you are doing what19:52you're supposed to be doing yeah19:54yeah and there's people it's not there's19:55not people to do the work you're not19:57you're giving people the work they're19:58supposed to be doing so you can continue20:00to work on the higher level things20:04any other questions for today20:06no no20:09I really20:10hope you all enjoyed this episode I20:12enjoyed it it's fun this is my first one20:14y'all20:15um I enjoyed it so if you are interested20:18in appearing on a future episode of the20:21your next Move podcast I invite you to20:23email podcasts at manifestyourself.com20:25and let us know that you would like to20:27be a Live Career coaching guest on20:29season five we would love to have you20:33and with that may your next move be your20:35very best move talk soon y'all20:38foreignEnglish (auto-generated)AllFrom your searchFrom Kimberly BrownConversationListenableRecently uploaded

Career Coaching: Overachieving, Workplace Boundaries, and Mindset Shifts with Shaperyla Smith

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